Mary Jane's Noble Brother

Bulbar onset ALS first affects the muscles in the mouth, throat and lungs.  The accumulative affect is decreased breathing efficiency, muscle depletion and a lack of energy.  So as a result instead of being on the go all the time I now spend most of my time sitting still thinking about what I can do to contribute in my diminished capacity.

I don't think it is any big secret that I am most passionate about the environment and the animals that inhabit it.  I should also say that I don't consider us human beings to be in any way superior to the animals on this planet just because we have higher cognitive skills.  In fact I would say that they are far superior and we have a lot to learn from them about their conservation practices. 

So since I am sitting on my ass all the time and I can still type, it only seems logical that I do what I can for the environment.  I'm not exactly sure what that will look like, but I am going to just get started and see where it leads.

One thing that was brought to my attention a while ago are the overwhelming benefits of Industrial Hemp.  Adding industrial Hemp as a major crop source is only difficult because we have made it so.  The DEA erroneously categorizes Hemp as a drug like it's sister plant Marijuana.

So lets just tackle the biggest environmental issue right off the bat.  Our dependence on non renewable fossil fuels is completely unnecessary.  Did you know that Henry Ford's first model T was built to run on hemp oil?  Can you imagine what our world would be like now had we followed Ford's genius and weren't so dependent on non renewable fossil fuels?  Just look at the most recent debacle in Iraq or the Middle East in General.  The implications are staggering. 

"Why use up the forest which were centuries in the making and the mines which required ages to lay down,if we can get the equivalent of the forests and mineral products in the annual growth of the hemp fields? Henry Ford   (http://ushistory4you.hubpages.com/hub/Henry-Fords-Hemp-Car)

  
A friend posted a piece on facebook this week that is very difficult to accept, but important to understand.  We are unknowingly responsible for the clear cutting of the most bio diverse habitats on earth for palm oil, that is used in countless products that we buy off of the grocery shelves.  What would happen if we were aware of this one fact and we were able to pressure our government to ban the use of palm oil under an environmental protection act?  What if these companies were forced to find alternative vegetable oils, like hemp seed oil to use in their products?  Isn't it worth it?  

Borneo and Sumatra are two of the most bio-diverse regions of the world, yet they have the longest list of endangered species. This list includes the magnificent orangutan. These two South-East Asian islands are extremely rich in life, containing around 20,000 flowering plant species, 3,000 tree species, 300,000 animal species and thousands more being discovered each year. Despite this amazing biodiversity and delicate web of species, an area the size of 300 football fields of rainforest is cleared each hour in Indonesia and Malaysia to make way for the production of one vegetable oil. 
http://www.saynotopalmoil.com/ 
 

 Orangutans are one of the many being brutalized, killed and their habitats being destroyed for one vegetable oil.   


Following is a video that gives very important information about industrial hemp.  Please take the time to familiarize yourself with all the potential that hemp holds and ask your representative to support House Bill 525 here http://capwiz.com/norml2/issues/alert/?alertid=62399531
 

There are other calls of action at http://www.votehemp.com/what_can_i_do.html
Please let me know if you have acted on this bill and pass the information on to the people you know.

Full Circle, Almost

O

     Arkansas ditch                                                                                            
      all photographs by brian fender
 

Well I said my posts would be erratic.  How's a six month absence for a blog?  Works for me.

Since my last post I left my adult home of NYC to return to my home state of Arkansas.  It is undeniable that New York has a frenetic energy like no other that is always propelling you forward, keeping you a little on edge, keeping you hustling in a never ending pursuit to make it (especially if you haven't made it).  For those of us that aren't natural hustlers (potentially over indulged children with an unwarranted sense of entitlement) but have high expectations of ourselves the experience can be a profound struggle.

When we left for a week vacation in Arkansas in late May we had no intentions of not going back to NYC, but once I got on the back porch overlooking Beaver Lake (note the shit kickers and almost knee high socks on said porch) I found I could not move.  I sat there for the better part of two months and just absorbed the surroundings.  My family had planned the annual trip to Rosemary Beach.  I could not make myself leave to join them.  I just didn't have it in me.

About two weeks into my back porch sitting a barn sparrow couple started building their nest next to the back door.  It felt like primordial symbolism to have left the mechanical noises of the city and to suddenly be witnessing the genius of these birds working from sun up to sun down, building this complicated structure from twigs and small mouth fulls of mud.

No sooner had they finished the nest then these ugly little heads with beaks were peaking out over the nest.  The parents nest building gave way to frantic bug collecting and they resumed their trips back and forth from sun up to sun down.  To be honest it got a little exhausting watching them doing all that work, and it wanted them to take a break but they would not be deterred.  The most fascinating thing about the ugly newborns was how they knew to hang their asses over the edge of the nest to poop in the parents mouth, so that mom or dad could carry the poop and drop it away from the nest.  There eyes weren't even open yet they somehow knew to hang their asses over the edge of the nest to poop.  Isn't that incredible?  I thought it was so courteous.......until they started shitting on everything.

Equally as astonishig was how quickly they grew into cute little, fat, baby birds, firmly perched all along the edge of the nest.  The whole thing was miraculous to watch.  All the while there were so many species of birds coming in and out, Robins plucking big juicy earthworms out of the ground, a male and female Oriole, which I had never seen in Arkansas before, a wide variety of wood peckers, vultures, blue herons and a whole community of neighborhood dogs that came and went on regular schedules.  The occasional speed boat sliding along with fisherman hugging the banks throwing their lines.    

(Let this be a cautionary tale!  Don't let barn swallows nest near your dwelling.  It turns out that,  besides the bird shit, they have mites and microscopic parasites so having them close to your door can mean the infestation of your house and the potential for maddening crawling sensations all over your skin.  Total creep out factor.)

But my point is that having the time to just sit and be in nature, to let that frenetic energy of the city that eventually becomes a part of you, dissipate, my illness became more real to me and assumed an emotional weight it was lacking in NYC.  I finally wept for the first time in August, a year and a half after the diagnosis.  It was epic grief, incredibly intense, loud, messy and astonishing.  Without sounding too flip about my own life, I kept wondering what I was grieving.  We all die.  I am a human being subject to illness.  I suspect this is just the conditioning of men.  So I couldn't help but wonder if those epic grieving experiences were a lifetimes worth and the diagnosis was just a catalyst for going deep enough to unclog years of unrealized emotion.  I have wondered if all the pain, anger, and hurt I held in throughout my life could be partially responsible for having a nervous system misfiring like a struggling neon sign. 

So the following video is about gratitude, to slowing down to appreciate what surrounds you and our connectedness, rather than what we mostly here about our disconnectedness, how we mistreat one another etc.  The second is of nature sounds if you are still in the city or are stressed out to all hell.

And I am well aware that some Native New Yorkers will be more terrified of these noises than find them soothing.  I have nothing for you. Just stick your head out the window:)

Blinded by the Light

                                           Photograph by Brian Fender

Being diagnosed with a terminal illness, and given that the human experience has always been about searching for a higher power, it's only natural that people who care for you become concerned for your soul.  Because of who I am and always have been by nature, a non-conformist, I have received heartfelt letters from people who care about me, expressing concern for my soul if I didn't accept their particular way of viewing the spiritual world.  I never became indoctrinated, but rejecting all the external noise was not without fear when I was a young adult, the consequences are made very clear to all of us since we are old enough to absorb them.  Since I moved beyond the fear tactics, it's farcical and frustrating to watch people carry on about things that don't matter.

One of the recent attempts to bring me to the light started a dialogue between myself and a small group of people and really helped me define my belief and it goes something like this:

I see God, the Creator, as the earth we live on. Everything that exists in our world is an expression of the Earth, including our imaginations and desires.  And if what is expressed through this Earth has anything to tell us, it is that diversity is the ingredient of sustaining life.  Why we can't all agree to see the different forms of spiritual expression as affirmations of one another is human failure dictated by ego.  I'm right, I'm better than you, your wrong kind of thinking.  The fact that we largely don't see spiritual expression as a bi-product of our ability to sustain life, provided by the Earth we live on, is a catastrophe for all the other creatures and plant life that live in harmony with the earth!  Inhabitants that our habits and desires destroy and displace.  Habits that I am as guilty of as the next person and can only be changed with awareness, legislation and daily personal decisions.

 The good news is there are a lot of brilliant people out there doing the work.  They are the Noah's of our time and their Arks are holding some amazing things seen in the first piece.  And incredibly inspiring short piece about how the universe is in each of us and the first part of a BBC series on Madagascar that is fascinating!  Enjoy. 

 

Coons in the City

Step off Sarah Jessica Parker!

This is a fascinating piece on Raccoons in Urban areas.  It speaks directly to evolution, the adaptation to different experiences, which I think we can attribute to ourselves.  The most fascinating fact is that although baby raccoons, and animals in general, are so cute to watch play, their play is fundamental for testing out their ability before they venture into the world on their own.  This is where they learn what works and what doesn't work.  Which further suggests once they have established these skills, play becomes unnecessary.

  Urban Raccoon by Barry Buhr

Which made me wonder.  Is this why our brains and beliefs loose their elasticity?  Could this explain why conservative people insist on chronic repetition,  and see deviation from this repetition, their beliefs, as a threat to their way of life?  Does having a family typically increase this desire for repetition?  Is this why people who live in urban areas seem to have a more expansive and accepting view of human differences?

                                             photograph by Laurie Peterson

It also suggests that the only way we can access that wonderment and intrigue we had when we were first experiencing the world, is by putting ourselves in new situations where we have no frame of reference and can accesses that dormant part of ourselves.  Could this explain the mid-life crisis?  Could it also explain why it often takes a life changing event for those who are firmly rooted in their perspectives to suddenly see everything differently?  I love this segment and the enormous amount of questions that arise from watching these furry little creatures hobble around.

Unfortunately I can't embed the video on this post.  So just click on the link below. 

Enjoy and I would love to know what you think!

http://video.pbs.org/video/2192070266

COME AND GET ME MONSANTO

                                          Photograph by Brian Fender

Although I have grown to enjoy the simplest of things in this, less active existence, I still want to grab the world by the shoulders and scream WAKE UP!  So I will be sure and start it off on a happy note.   Not!

Once we decimated a group of people who did not see themselves as superior to the wildlife around them, who took only what was necessary for their survival and lived in harmony with their surroundings, we have established ourselves as far superior to the natural world.  Or have we?

We spend so much time trying to differentiate ourselves from one another, by religious and political semantics, the color of our skin, socioeconomic status, the car we drive, the phone we have, how good a soccer player our kids are, and non of this is done in harmony with the environment around us.  In fact it has so distracted us, we largely think of the environment in terms of how to best accommodate our down time, whether with palm trees and beaches or mountains and ski slopes.

We like to think of ourselves as an evolved species, but Paris Hilton and The Kardashians exist people.  And, I mean, you can't get more natural than Paris Hilton and the Kardashians.  Everything that we are bombarded with, is about defeating nature.  Monsanto has created a cluster fuck with their patent on different strains of grains, they have destroyed the biodiversity of our food supply out of pure greed.  They have genetically modified seeds (the process by which they do this is so frightening I'm at a loss for words, which as most of you know is saying something) to be resistant to a chemical that kills other plants, crops that produce dormant seeds.  They are trying to out nature Mother Nature and very few, including our government, seem to care.  Yet we are allowing ourselves to be distracted by gay marriage and abortion rights on an overpopulated planet.  You want to know what is the biggest threat to the family take a look at your food supply and tell your preacher to start yelling about that from the pulpit.

But I know, we have come so far, so why question it?  I mean if you think you're looking a little too old they can cut off a piece of your ass and slap it on your face now.  That's real innovation!

This months post (there may be more, there may not) is about my favorite new word, can we all say it together...BIOMIMICRY and illustrates just how nature Trumps  us Superior Beings (and I'm not talking about the douche bag with the bad hair). 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n77BfxnVlyc

I Want To Be A Sea Lion Some Day

There is nothing more inspired, beautifully choreographed and brutal than life in the ocean.  I can't get enough of the wonders of the deep and I am always reminded how insignificant we really are in comparison.  Except, of course, when it comes to our ability to destroy this poetic ecosystem.

There has been a lot of talk lately about abortion rights with little attention given to the fact that we are an overpopulated species that is killing our host Mother Earth.  We drill holes in the earth and pump chemicals to disturb the gasses that naturally occur without any knowledge or concern of what the chemicals are, how they affect the immediate ecosystem and the long term affects of the planets environment; to name one of a million injustices.  When we took possession of this Continent from the savage Native Americans, we showed no remorse in annihilating a culture that lived as one with the environment around them, understood the need to control their population as a tool of survival for themselves and the bountiful land they lived on.  Instead we crept along the landscape like an opportunistic infection decimating everything in our path without replenishing, and we are still at it.

In my world view gay men should be paid for not contributing to an already overpopulated planet and  fundamentalist heterosexuals should spend less time trying to make "the gays" look bad and  spend more time figuring out how to reduce their breeding practices (and telling kids to be abstinent ain't going to work fundamentalist people) so that there might be less tuna fish sandwiches going to school and the inhabitants of the ocean might be able to replenish themselves and once again live in harmony with the monsters on the surface.

I am not a religious person.  However, I do believe many of the principles in religious text.  And I am quite confident, while watching this fluid, magnificent world, that when the bible states that "the meek shall inherit the Earth" it is not referring to us humans who weren't strong enough, greedy enough, or corrupt enough to get all the bullshit their hocking in magazines, rap videos and the Home Shopping Network.  No, no, no the meek inhabitants are the ones that have lived in harmony with their environment throughout human history, the animals.

Book suggestion:
UNDAUNTED COURAGE about the Lewis and Clark expedition by Stephen E. Ambrose

Oh and a shout out to the squid orgy.  Who knew they got so freakaay, and talk about a killer orgasm.




                                                    

What Comes Natural

One of the things that I loved most in life and thus far is the thing that hurts the most to have lost as a result of ALS, is the ability to sing.  Ironically, which seems to be my life's true expression, when I was very young my grandmother gave me a book titled "My Friend The Bluebird Who Lost His Song".  My name was inserted as one of the main characters and my job was to help the bluebird find his song.

Recently at a party we where cruising old talent shows on google and found The Midnight Special performances on youtube.   I looked around me and everyone was singing along and the happiness in the room was just palpable.  I'll be honest, it hurt not to be able to join in (especially on specific songs I have historically loved to sing) but simultaneously everyone was dancing around, which I could do and so I did.  So true to my character in the book, I am going to suggest that you all sing and dance as much as you can, as often as you can, with people you love, even if you are tone deaf and have no rhythm. 

This blog post is an homage to the two things that come natural to us human beings, but we often ignore.  Enjoy!